This morning I woke (yes, I actually woke from almost two continuous hours of sleep!) with a renewed determination. During the night, in which I realized at least two longer stretches of sleep, I also became increasingly aware that the pain mediation really doesn't stop the pain. It makes me sleepy, so I am able to doze off despite discomfort, but the pain never diminished. So, between dozing and wakefulness, I used some of the time to work on my stretches, in particular the knee bending stretch. I figured, if I'm in pain anyway, might as well make the best of it, which doesn't make sense, but that's the way it is.
I guess it takes time for my brain to register what is helping and what isn't, as I travel this slow road to recovery. The knee bending stretches are the worst, pain wise, of the therapy exercises I am required to work on. The pain is so bad that I really did the minimum for the first week, forcing myself to do it, but gladly stopping with the minimum repetitions. It occurred to me as I lay in pain last night that these are the ones that will make or break my increased range of motion. Of course, it's going to be the hard stuff that makes the difference!
So far today, I have extended the stretch every time I have sat, or stood up. While reading the paper, I pulled my knee into a bent position over and over, and iced in between. Over the course of the day, I plan to use the stationary bike and surprise Melissa (my PT for tomorrow) with my increased range of motion!
I can sit around this summer, wishing I didn't have to work so hard, hoping that the work I do will be enough, or I can grit my teeth, accept the role of self-healer, and use my inner drive to make this recovery period the best that it can be. Just yesterday I was lamenting the lack of control I have, thinking about all the things I can't do right now. Realistically, I've never had more control over my personal life than I do at this very moment. I guess it always comes down to perspective. I may need to look at things from a sitting/laying down perspective today, but my goal is to be standing and walking soon!