March also gets me thinking about renewal, and I love watching the buds forming on the lilac trees, and waiting for the profusion of yellow when the daffodils burst forth. Already there is a sprinkling of purple lying close to the ground, crocus’s heralding “spring!” Any day now, the yard is going to shimmer and glow with pastel passion.
My baby, youngest child Kailyn, was born right near the middle of March, and celebrating her birthday is something to look forward to next weekend. As this is finals week, she actually will be home on Wednesday, so we’ll have a couple of days together before we drive up to Bellingham. This year, we will also celebrate Jessica’s college graduation on Kailyn’s birthday! A double celebration in March!
And I love Easter, which doesn’t always fall in March, but regardless, brings me such joyful memories of matching Easter dresses I’ve sewn for the girls, filling Easter baskets, dyeing eggs, and precious family times with my grandparents, siblings and cousins. It isn’t the same anymore, as now it’s just David and I on Easter, but the memories are warm, and the celebration is just as meaningful to me, symbolically and spiritually.
Just thinking about the Ides of March hold life changing meaning for me, some wrapped in deep sadness such as the death of my third mom on March 15. Watching her slowly waste away to a twig of a woman due to complications of Alzheimer's brought about an unexpected depression for me that lasted too many years. While she wasn’t my “real” mom (who had died when I was nine) she had been my mom for 35 years, and had taught me what unconditional love really means through her patient acceptance of my rebellious teenager self. While my daughters don’t remember her, I remember her coming over every morning, and staying all day, each time I gave birth, due to spinal headaches that lasted for a week. She cared for her granddaughters, and cared for me, as only moms know how to do.
March also reminds me of mom’s incredible green thumb, and when the snowball tree blooms, I remember when she gave me the cutting that I never thought would grow, and it’s easily 15 feet tall and loaded each year, mom’s way of telling me, “Trust me, I know these things!” My yard is full of plants that came from her, and I recall coming home from her house with armfuls of blooms, beginning in March each year.
March 15 is also etched in my memory for another reason. It is the day I decided, one day at a time, that I would be sober. It took me nearly twenty years to figure out that I wasn’t a successful social drinker, but when I did, I never looked back. It doesn’t seem like nearly a quarter of a century ago, but maybe that’s because I remember most of this last twenty-four years, versus the twenty years of fog that preceded it! What I received with sobriety is more than I ever hoped or dreamed for. I found David, and was blessed with my incredible daughters, Kailyn and Jessica. I realized dreams I never expected, and the value of those gifts is immeasurable. How could I not love March!
It's still Saturday morning, and it's still looking grey out, but it's March!