I've been thinking about attitude lately, in particular, my own attitude. I realized recently that "I can't" are often the first words out of my mouth. Ironically, I've always thought of myself as a "can do" person. As in, I can do anything, and by golly, do it pretty darn well, too. Somewhere along the way, I now find myself making excuses for being unable (translate: unwilling) to do certain activities.
Now, this isn't exactly earthshaking, but it is more than a little disconcerting. Lately I have said, "I can't go to swim aerobics because my knees hurt." "I can't walk very far because I'm afraid of falling." "I can't get my classroom, (my sewing room, my garage, my files, etc) organized because I don't have enough time." "I can't eat healthy because I don't want to." And, the biggie is, "I can't lose weight because I don't know how to stop eating." Which, isn't exactly true, but it is true that my "full meter" doesn't kick in until I'm past full. I keep overfilling my food tank, and it isn't helping me very much. Regardless, "I can't . . . " has become my life mantra, and frankly I'm kind of sick of myself!
In talking with Terry last week, she suggested that I simply pay attention to what and why I am eating. It's not a hard assignment, and I've managed to really think about the what and why when I've eaten the past few days. I don't know if I've actually ate less, but I do know that I have thought twice before eating some things. Sort of a minor breakthrough. I can pay attention!
This afternoon my daughter Kailyn and I are going to go for a walk. I've been looking forward to her being home this weekend, as I am afraid to walk alone. It is true that I fall frequently, and I need to be safe, but I also don't need to treat myself as a cripple. I'll take my walking stick, and I believe I can walk for awhile with her. Then, maybe, I'll feel confident to walk around the block tomorrow.
It always amazes me how God puts the right people in our lives at the right moments. This week I met up with my cousin, Chris, whom I haven't seen in over 40 years! We met for dinner with our husbands, and had a marvelous time looking at old photos she brought, and catching up on our lives since high school. As we parted, the talk had turned to her husband's hip replacement and my upcoming knee replacement. Chris said, "I have come to the realization as I age, that I have to keep moving." A simple statement. A true statement. Nothing new. But, for whatever reason, I heard it. Today, I'm moving. I'm going to walk as far as I can, and be glad that I can.