Friday, September 9, 2011

Wipe Out

Finally tonight I have found the time to catch up on reading blogs.  I have felt literally wiped out, used up, worn to a frazzle, oh, and exhausted!  I want to write a thoughtful, coherent, connecting post, but I'm not sure I've got it in me.

It seems that the past three weeks have gone by in a blur.  Preparing for the new school year, cramming nine more desks into my classroom (and the bodies to go with them!) new faces, new names to learn, getting to know 27 kids and what makes them tick.  Planning lessons, new procedures (new principal) different expectations . . . What about me? I whimper pathetically to myself.

Oh, and now that summer finally arrived in our neck of the woods, my side of the building has no air conditioning at work.  It's been 80-85 degrees in the classroom all week, and it isn't pretty. We received the news today that maintenance has discovered what is wrong with it, but they must call a contractor.  It should be fixed in two weeks.  By then, we'll have our usual fall weather and we won't need the air until next June, maybe.

My exercise routine has flown out the window.  Every day I bring home a rolling cart full of school stuff, and between getting Kailyn off to France, and worrying about her arrival, I have mostly been rolling that cart back and forth and only occasionally finding the bottom of it.

It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that I found Kailyn online and we connected.  I saw her name and one word, "Mommy?" And I wept with relief.  I had been so worried, because it wasn't like her to not attempt to contact me when she arrived at the university.  It turns out that she had borrowed a friends phone and texted me on Wednesday, but my new "smart" phone had turned itself off (although it looked like it was on to me!) and I couldn't receive or send calls and/or messages.  By the time I figured out something was seriously wrong with it, I had at least discovered she was alive! I cried at the phone store when the gal got it working and I was able to read Kailyn's text (sent a day and a half before!).

We've set up a time to skype tomorrow, and Kailyn found time to write a post on her first ever blog.  Luckily I called Jessica tonight to ask a computer question and she said, "Did you read Kailyn's blog yet?"  Nope, I didn't even think to see if there was one! I don't think Kailyn meant it to be funny, but as I read it aloud to David, we had to laugh about her "getting on the right train, going the wrong direction" but eventually finding her way from Paris to Caen!

She is making friends and now that she has internet, (it took two days for her connection to work) I think we will all be able to cope with the distance easier.  I slept for the first time since she left for about four hours last night and that felt pretty good.  Probably helped my disposition a little, too.

As for school, despite the fact that I have more desks and bodies than my room comfortably holds, it's been a good start, maybe the best in years.  Amazingly, there haven't been any behavior issues, yet.  The kids are genuinely nice to each other and helpful to me. (I'm still hobbling more than I'd like to be, and even had to resort to using the cane again on the long treks down the hall.) I truly like all my students, and I'm looking forward to a wonderful year.

Tonight, I can barely keep my fingers moving on the keyboard.  I am bone tired, and ready for sleep. Remember the song, "Wipe Out" by the Beach Boys? (I think?) I've been going at this crazy, can't keep up with life pace for what seems like ages, and tonight, I have wiped out.  The rolling cart full of writing journals, and reading inventories, and math tests and science lesson plans will have to wait for tomorrow.  I'm dragging my weary body down the hall to bed.


  1. oh Sandi I understand how hard it can be to keep up with the blogging. And the being tired part, it's why I haven't hardly blogged. I am so tired come 1:00p.m. all part of the healing I suppose.
    I can only imagine your relief after finally hearing from your daughter. She is very beautiful. What an exciting time for her. Does she have an open blog? Let us know so we can visit her. I left you a comment on your last comment on my blog. Not that it sounds like you'll have much time to read it!!
    So sorry that you have to deal with the heat. You are a saint. I would demand a BIG fan!!!
    Love Di ♥

  2. Just reading your post has made me feel your exhaustion, Sandi! This has been a huge adjustment for you to have made while still in recovery from your major surgery and added to that, the anxious waiting to get confirmation from Kailyn that all was well. A case of so many things to cope with all at the same time and, being a Mother first and foremost, missing your daughter would not have been an insignificant part of all of this! It's no wonder you feel so wiped out! I do hope you are able to rest up a bit this weekend, in between tackling the contents of your rolling cart. Thankfully, you'll be able to enjoy the comfort of your own air conditioner at home. Two weeks seems an inordinately long wait till your classroom's a/c unit is repaired! I agree with Diane. Request a couple of fans meantime!

  3. It's good to hear that you've made it through what must be the hardest part of starting school, although without any A/C in this heat! Someone told me that in our part of the country, the weatherman said, "73 degrees and sunny, with no relief in sight!" And now 73 degrees seems cool compared to our daily high temperatures! We're just not used to it.

    Get some rest this weekend, Sandi, and pat yourself on the back for having made it through, and knowing that Kailyn is safe and sound!

  4. I think our teachers in this area have breathed a sigh of relief as our temps have been fairly cool for this time of year. Usually when school starts Mother Nature heats it up good! Our schools don't have a/c...I remember when I went to a parent/teacher conference and the room was almost 100de...if I made my child sit in a hot room like that all day they would throw me in jail! Not a good environment for students or teachers! Hope you have a restful weekend and the knee quits giving you fits!

  5. I'm writing this comment with the hope that you won't read it for several days because when you get home from school each day, you'll rest and not read blogs and comment!

    You so need to take care of yourself and your knee, Sandi. Why? Because if we don't take care of ourselves, the well runs drive and we have no life-giving water of compassion and kindness and understanding to offer anyone: Kailyn, your family, your students, yourself.

    Prime that deep-down center of yourself--that well--by taking care of yourself: resting and doing your exercises when you can easily fit them in.

    And perhaps, just perhaps, in the midst of this exhaustion, you will find the energy to be gracious to yourself and say, "Well done!"

    Finally, thank you so much for commenting on my Thursday posting. That you did this while so tired means so much to me.


  6. I hope this weekend provides a lot of restorative energy to you. I love that your room full of kids is coming together so well, despite the sweltering classroom, and that your enthusiasm for them is evident.

    Your daughter will have such adventures this year! What an amazing time for her! I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have her so far away and not hear from her for a few days - you are a rock.

  7. I feel your pain on various levels. I teach in a building who doesn't have a/c at all. In our heat wave last week we were teaching in 90 degree rooms. Our principal bought popscicles for the kids.

    I know what it's like to have so many things going on outside of school that it's hard to keep up with the mounds of paperwork that is unseen by most.

    I'm glad you got to hook up with your daughter. I hope that will help you balance a bit. It's hard that first few weeks back to school. (I have a hard time with the first few weeks out of school too.) You go for carefree to running 100 miles and hours in one day. and Visa Versa at the end of the year.

    Enjoy your weekend!

  8. I totally understand how panicked you were over not hearing from your daughter. I can see myself crying in the same situation.

    I am sorry you are so tired. Teaching is so exhausting! I hope your weekend is restful and you go back to work next week recharged. Take care dear blogging friend.

  9. Boy can I relate to how you're feeling this weekend! So glad you heard from Kailyn (I'd love to read her blog if she's up for an audience). Interesting that we both have 27 kids. Yes, it does fill up a space! I hope you're taking care of yourself, allowing yourself to rest while you can. Love.

  10. I hope you're feeling lots better now and that you and your daughter have a fully functioning connection.

    You'll soon get used to her absence. It's what parents do.

  11. You are dealing with a lot right now Sandi, no doubt with a bright smiling face. I am missing my daughter too (in Germany,could be for years and seems like such a long way from Australia). Skype is wonderful but kind of reinforces their abscence when you're the Mom. Still must be grateful we have this and hope Friko's words ring true about getting used to their abscence.
    I am sure you will have many times of just wanting to sink into that bed and rest - teachers have one of the hardest jobs physically and emotionally. The fact you are doing all this in post-recovery mode is a wonder. Keep up the good work, and congratulations for getting through the airport send-off! I think perhaps Friko is right again "it's what parents do." xxx


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