Sleep Study Results

I had my appointment with the "sleep doctor" today, and received the results from my sleep study a few weeks ago.

It turns out my husband wasn't kidding about my snoring.  In fact, I will never again complain about him wearing ear plugs at night.  All those years I thought he was just trying to get out of getting up with crying babies and barking dogs!

I need to nominate this poor man for sainthood!  My sleep study showed that I basically snore non-stop all night long. When I looked at the print out, it showed some areas that were solid with snoring.  Sheesh!

The doctor said that I just have a mild case of sleep apnea, although I woke on average about 13 times per hour.  My REM sleep was less than normal, probably due to frequent waking, I guess.

After much discussion, we decided that I will come in for another study next Friday night, and try using  a cpap machine to see if it relieves the snoring.  She said that is likely my biggest issue.

Of course, dropping some weight would probably help, although I remember my first husband telling me I snored (which I never believed!) and that was over 35 years ago, and I was a normal weight!

Anyway, I am so tired of being exhausted when I wake up that I'm willing to get hooked to a machine if it will help me sleep. The doctor said some folks find that using the machine gives them new energy, which leads to a desire to exercise and eventual weight loss.  That would be a nice bonus!


Mother's Day photo

We had such a lovely time last weekend.  Jessica and Brandon arrived right around lunch time on Saturday and we visited awhile before leaving for Powell's Book Store.  I found a driving map of France and a copy of Bill Bryson's Notes from a Small Island, which I've been wanting to read for ages!

Later, Jessica's best friend Elisa, and her husband Jeremiah, came over for barbecued salmon and burgers.  It was such a treat to hang out with the "kids" and catch up on their lives.  The two couples went out later, and I went to bed feeling satiated; joy filled, and fully blessed.

On Sunday, we all got up fairly early and I fixed breakfast while David and Brandon talked golf and the girls serenaded us . . . 

As we gathered around the table, I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  My girls were home, our first Mother's Day together in five years, and I truly felt all was right with my world.  We all enjoyed meeting Brandon and getting to know him.  He and Jess seem like a very good match.  Time will tell . . .

Just before Jessica and Brandon left, the girls gave me their gifts.  Jess wrote a beautiful poem "When I smell lilacs, I think of you", which made me alternately laugh out loud and cry. Kailyn gave me a darling homemade card and a book Jane Kirkpatrick wrote about Hulda Klager called, "Where Lilacs Still Bloom".  She knew I would love it!  Neither of them knew the other was doing something related to lilacs, and it was such a special bonus!

David, Kailyn and I left for church, and on the way, I decided I needed to have photos of each of the girls with the newest lilac I bought at Hulda Klager's. I called Jess and asked her if Brandon would take a picture for me.

Kailyn with our new little lilac!

Kailyn's car needed repair work, so I drove her back to school.  We both love road trips, no matter where we are going, so we had a nice long visit enroute to Central.  I didn't hang out very long, as I knew the return trip wouldn't be quite as pleasant.  It turned out I witnessed a gorgeous sunset just as I made the turn into the gorge. I had forgotten my camera at home, and attempted photos with my phone, but wasn't happy with them.

Surprisingly, the time passed quickly as I cheerfully traveled down the highway singing along with the Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel.  Once I was home, I texted Kailyn to let her know, and was snug in my bed by 10:30!

What a lovely weekend!

Musings About Mothering

Mother's Day . . . just thinking about the day stirs up a whirlwind of emotions with a hurricane force that are hard to hold down long enough to even write about.  My first Mother's Day, I don't even remember well.  I had a six month old son; I'm fairly sure it was spent with my parents and siblings and the beginnings of what would become dozens of grandchildren.  I think I took it for granted, yeah, I'm a mom, no big deal, it happens to a lot of people.  Women have babies every day, nothing special about that.

Fast forward to my fourteenth Mother's Day.  I have a photo (that I can't find!) of my son Chris, smiling at his new, long hoped for baby sister Jessica, who is not quite three months old.  I'm looking puffy, exhausted, overweight and kind of shell shocked at the miracle of Jessica's coming into this world.

I'm not sure if we took pictures every Mother's Day, but on my sixteenth day of celebration, I have another baby girl, not quite two months old, and there is no doubt about it, I am one weary mom.

Chris holding Jessica (2 years) and sleeping Kailyn (2 months)

There are many photos over the years of the girls and I, sometimes dressed in matching outfits (I sewed, and, I thought it was cute.  What can I say??)  (of course, I can't find any of them at the moment!)

On my 29th Mother's Day, Chris wrote me a long, three page poem, full of love, appreciation for his life, and gratefulness that he had me as his mom. I sobbed through it the first time I read it, and it will always be the most precious gift he ever gave me.  He wrote other poems too, but that one I especially treasure.

The girls have given me many, many lovely handmade cards, and beautiful gifts for Mother's Day.

2009 Mother's Day Hike at Eagle Creek

Hard to read . . . I can't remember what year this was.  Neither of the girls remember to date their offerings, and I neglect to in the moment!  I do remember this is from Jess!

Another one that is a little hard to read, but so sweet!  Kailyn surprised me with this her freshman year at Central.  David and I had driven over for Jazz weekend.  The larger words are all hand stitched, but it's a little difficult to tell.

One of several poems Jess has written for me.  She truly has a way with words.

I nearly always attend church on Mother's Day, and I nearly always cry at least a little.  The year after Chris died, I seem to remember sobbing so much I had to get up and leave.  I'm crying now, just thinking about no more Chris.

Sometimes, it makes me mad that I am sitting there crying over Chris, surrounded by my husband and usually one or both daughters, and I'm mad at Chris. Damn him for messing up my life and ruining my Mother's Day.

Of course, within seconds, I'm remorseful, and awash with gratefulness, that God made me a mother, and so generously gifted me with three incredible human beings who have called me "mom".  Chris didn't "ruin" my mother's day, anymore than my mom's death "ruined" my life. Sometimes I'm ashamed of myself for even thinking those thoughts.  But, I do think them once in awhile.  I guess that's part of living, that dying is what we all do, and, we have a choice  of how we will respond when life isn't "going our way".  Funny thing, we don't seem to be in charge of those events though, do we?

I know that it is my choice how I view my life, as either "half full" or half empty" and, most of the time, (these days, anyway) I see it as more than half full.  While I can't go so far as to say I'm glad I've experienced the losses I've had, I can say that what I've learned, and what I've gained from these losses are immeasurable. There's no better way to build compassion and empathy that to suffer loss. And, there's no better way to develop a rich appreciation for the minutest moments, than to be painfully aware that "this could be the last time" at all times.

Last night, Kailyn drove home from Ellensburg in time for us to make it to over to the high school to watch "Hello Dolly", something we've been planning for a few weeks.  The musical was fantastic, as usual, and it was thrilling to reconnect with several of my former students who played various roles.  The light technician was one of those special kids I had when I taught both second and fifth grades, and he completed his senior project as a volunteer in my classroom. I discovered about a third of the orchestra were also "my kids".

Teaching is another form of mothering.   I definitely feel a mothers pride when I watch my former second and fifth graders belting out a song, or dancing across the stage, all grown up in high school. I am grateful to have the incredible opportunity to "teach and reach" kids. As I was enveloped within the enthusiastic and loving hugs I received last night, I reveled in the perks that come from my nurturing in the classroom.

Today, Jessica is bringing "the boy" (aka Brandon) home to meet us for the first time.  She tells me the relationship is becoming "serious" and I'm filled with equal parts of anticipation and anxiety.  I have cleaned house like a dervish (directly related to an earlier post on incentive!)  David just hosed off the deck. Jessica's best friend, Elisa, (who is like a third daughter to me) and her husband are also coming for dinner, so we'll have a party tonight.  I'm looking forward to having "my kids" home, and it seems like an added bonus that it's also Mother's Day weekend.

I wish for all my blogging friends a wonderful weekend, whether you are honoring your mother, being  honored as a mother, or celebrating the sunshine with friends.  We are all nurturers, and we all deserve a day that is ours to enjoy, in whatever form that pleasure takes.

Sleep Study

I spent last night wired up, literally, for a sleep study.  It all came about due to my complaining at my annual checkup about being forever tired.  I yawn all day, have little energy and wake up groggy and tired.  It takes me hours to get moving, and I'm not sure if it's just age, or what.  My doctor suggested a "sleep study", so I grudgingly made the first appointment.

While I was home after my upper GI a few weeks ago, the sleep study people called to say there was a cancellation, and would I like to come in that morning?  I was pretty groggy, but, ecstatic about not having to make more sub plans for a later date and said, "Sure!"

I was asked a billion questions, and before leaving, I made an appointment to return for my sleep study on  Saturday night, May 5.  I was to arrive at 7:55 PM, and would be released at 6 AM Sunday morning. (I know, what was I thinking??? )

Then, I proceded to have nightmares about the process for the next three weeks while I waited anxiously for last night to arrive.  My biggest fears were not sleeping at all, and not being able to get up to use the restroom, and the fact that the restroom was "down the hall".  I knew there were wires involved, and that I would be videotaped and observed the whole night long.  Frankly, it creeped me out, almost enough to cancel the appointment!

Yesterday, I went hiking with my friend, Tina, at Round Lake.  The creek was amazing, and while it threatened to rain, it didn't.  We hiked a little over three miles, through a considerable amount of mud (I forgot to take pictures, DJan!) It was great to get outside and off the neighborhood sidewalk!  I used my hiking poles on the steep and muddy areas, and discovered that they kept "slipping" and I couldn't get them tightened enough.  Today we're taking them back to REI and getting some lessons!

A very rain swollen Lacamas Creek!

As we caught up on the news in our families, I mentioned my upcoming nightmare.
Tina told me her husband had just went through the process a few weeks ago, and that she would have him call me when he got home from fishing that night.  Matt called about 40 minutes before we were to leave, and prepared me for the experience.  In some ways, it was going to be worse than I imagined, but, he did say he was impressed with the data collection and information during his follow up appointment.  Still, when my husband and I left the house, I was in a high state of anxiety and pretty darn crabby about going through the whole thing.  I said, "I wish it was you doing this! In fact, I think it should be you instead of me!" In typical fashion, David basically ignored my ranting.

We arrived, and there were no cars at the front door, where we were to meet the "sleep technician".
As we drove to the other side of the building, we saw a small group of people waiting at the opposite door.  David parked.  I screeched, "Are you just going to leave me with those total strangers??"

"No, I'm going to walk in with you, and make sure we're in the right place," was his irritatingly calm reply.

The technician, a sweet smiling young lady who appeared to be about 12, welcomed us into the building.  The other man's wife and son were going upstairs with him, but I just sent David off with a quick kiss and the terse request to be back not one minute later than 6:30 Sunday morning.  Then, I grumpily got into the elevator with the others. No one said a word as we traveled up to the fourth floor.

I was shown to "sleep room three" and entered the sparsely furnished mini bedroom consisting of a double bed, two end tables (that's all that fit on that wall) one utilitarian chair and a small cabinet with a sink and a mirror.  There was a microscopic tv mounted in the corner, with a screen about the size of my laptop. (I didn't plan on watching it, fortunately!) While I waited for my turn to be "wired" I got into my sleep clothes.  Feeling a little antsy, I attempted to correct a few writing papers, but sitting in the uncomfortable chair and leaning on the bed for a desk wasn't working out very well. I decided I wasn't in a positive, teacher-friendly frame of mind, and abandoned the papers just as the technician tapped on my door.

Tiffany proved herself to be endearingly patient.  It wasn't long before we were chatting amiably about her upcoming delayed honeymoon, and my upcoming travels to Europe, as she went through the 40 minute process of wiring me up.  She refilled my water bottle with filtered water, and graciously heated up my "heat 'em up" bag that I must have between my knees to sleep (probably 90% psychological, but nevertheless, I drag it with me everywhere I go.  And, yes, it will go to Europe with me, whether I am able to "heat it up" or not!)

All wired up . . . and smiling!  That Tiffany was a sweetheart!

I couldn't hold my hair up and take the picture, but

believe me, there are eight wires attached on various parts

of my head with some sort of gunk that was a bit difficult to wash out.

(My husband thought the top was shaved, but it isn't; just looks like it!)

About 9:30 I took my Ambien (I knew I would get zero sleep if I didn't!) and by 10:45 I was sleepy enough to start my sleep study!  Lights out, and try to get comfortable!  Luckily, I also brought my own pillow, so that helped considerably.

At least three times during the night, Tiffany came in and had to reattach a wire that had loosened and fallen off (luckily, not on my head, as if that happened she had to get out the "super cement" and I didn't want that!)  I accidentally pulled off one from each lower leg, and the oxygen one attached to my finger out of the wall.  I also woke often (as usual) but fell back asleep within a few minutes, thankful for the Ambien.

I wasn't sure exactly what time I woke up fully (but figured it was around 5 AM, and discovered later I was right!) but, after many minutes of not going back to sleep, and needing to use the restroom, I called for Tiffany.  She helped me get unplugged from the wall, and once I'd gone to the facilities, I knew I wouldn't be going back to sleep.  She said we could end the sleep study a few minutes early, (it was about 5:45 by then) and she began un-wiring me, a much quicker process!

After getting dressed and washing what marks I could off my face, I called David to pick me up. Tiffany couldn't tell me much about the results, saying that the doctor would go over them with me at my next appointment, which is May 18.  She was able to tell me that I didn't exhibit enough sleep apnea for her to bring me a cpap (I think that's what she called it) during the night, but that it didn't mean the doctor might not recommend it at a later time.  So, I wait and see what I will learn about my sleep patterns, and what, if anything, I can do to help myself feel more rested.

Until then, the dreaded sleep study ordeal is over.  It wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated.  I don't feel any more tired (or less) than I usually do. 

And, I am ready to head over to REI and see what I can learn about these hiking poles.  Although I was a little achy after the hike, I iced and feel pretty good today.  Kailyn will be home next weekend, so I'm looking forward to the possibility of another hike with her!

PS ~ Thanks for all the great comments when I couldn't find the dashboard.  I can find it with consistency now!  (Which means, I need to find some time to read and comment this afternoon!)

HELP! I can't find my dashboard or complete blog list!

Hello all!  Happy Belated May Day . . . but that isn't the reason for this blog.  Instead this is just a brief cry for help. I am trying, but I can't seem to find the "dashboard", which is where I used to check out recent blogs.  There are a few that show up at the end of my blog, but it isn't complete.

I'm not so fond of this new look on Blogger!

Is there anyone who can help me?

Thanks!

Incentive

The lilacs from my tree are fragrant and appreciated this year.

Jess and David, Easter Sunday, 

in front of the "not yet blooming" lilac tree

  

View from the back yard . . .

  

 a different view, from the deck

Incentive . . . 

What moves you?  Or rather, what moves you to . . . well . . . move?

I need something to give me the incentive to move, whether it is getting out for a walk, cleaning my house, writing a post, or correcting papers.

Usually, the incentive is, real or imagined, urgency.  I can get an incredible amount of clutter picked up in ten minutes if someone calls and says "Hey, we're in the neighborhood, just checking to see if you're home!" After 20+ years of marriage, David automatically pitches in and grabs the vacuum for the relentless black dog hair that covers every surface, seemingly within moments of being vacuumed!

Lately my incentive to get myself out of the house for a walk has been my upcoming trip to Europe, and knowing I want to be able to walk long distances to enjoy all the sights.  I'm still fighting some pain, but I'm up to a consistent 1.15 miles, with slight up and downhill sections.  Next week, I push it out to 1.5, I'm hoping.  Nikki isn't the best walking partner, as she pulls me.  So, we walk with me holding a morsel of dog treat in my hand that is next to her, and I am saying constantly, "Stay close, Nik, stay close."  It works, most of the time.  We both need the exercise!

And, because the end of the year is nearing at breakneck speed, it's super hard to get enthusiastic about correcting papers and recording scores . . . I'm exhausted before I even get started! I ask myself almost daily, "Why oh why do I assign so much work?" I can count on a good 2-4 hours each weekend of catch up, not counting what I do nightly. I know teachers who "recycle" papers; I just can't.  I have to write all over them, in my attempt to guide and encourage and correct! Some students read and appreciate my efforts, and I do it for them!

I have a million post topics racing around in my brain, but finding the time to force myself to sit and write, and edit, and revise, and find photos, and mess with inserting them, and now, trying to figure out the new blogger . . . I find myself reading other blogs instead of writing my own! (But, today, I'm going to post, come you know what!)

Last weekend, my incentive to get out of the house was twofold, gorgeous sunshine and Kailyn being home for a visit. It wasn't too tough to push myself out the door!



First stop was "Real Deals" in Battle Ground.  I bought the blue birdbath above to put in my old cement one, as the cement no longer holds water.  It's been patched a dozen times, has been in the same spot for over 20 years, and grown rather mossy over time.  (I happen to love it to death.  My uncle had a cement works and made it about 40 years ago, and I inherited it, and cherish it, despite it's lack of water holding capacity!) It also leans, but it quite heavy and no one has taken the time to straighten it up.  I have been looking for a small birdbath for the poor birds that is esthetically more pleasing than my ratty Tupperware bowl I've been using for the past few years!  (I won't bother with a picture of that one!)

I was thrilled to find this sweet blue one, although I thought it would fill up the old birdbath more completely. Kailyn had to gather a few rocks in order to balance the sweet new birdbath.

We headed further north for Woodland, and opening day at Hulda Klager's Lilac Gardens.  We forgot to take pictures while we were there, but here is a photo of the lilac I was searching for to replace one Jess and I bought that died a couple years ago.  It's called "Sensation" and is a hybrid. 

This is what it is supposed to look like . . .

  

This is the one I purchased . . . hopefully, I'll catch it when it's fully bloomed. Right now, it's about four feet tall, the same height as the lilac tree in the back yard was, when I purchased it about 20 years ago.  We also bought a couple of "babies" in 4" pots.  Those I'll probably keep in pots for a few years, just in case we decide to move, so I can take them with me! (I actually kept the one in the backyard in a ten gallon pot for several years before planting it.  I knew where I wanted it, but needed to wait for the $$ to build our addition and the deck first!)

Tooling on down the road, we arrive at the Tulip Festival. 

Gorgeous tulips as far as the eye could see . . .

And, especially gorgeous close up, with Kailyn in the midst!

Kailyn took lots of photos, 

and we will be ordering many bulbs to plant this fall!

Oh, but back to incentive . . .

Today, my incentive is not too exciting.  I have misplaced my hearing aid remote, and I can't seem to manage to figure out how to change the volume, only the program, with the buttons on the aids.  It's been very frustrating at work, to the point where I didn't wear them all week.  The kids are too loud when I have them on!!  I could just call the place I got them, but I'm pretty stubborn, and I know that remote has to be SOMEWHERE in this house!  (I've already searched the car, which is where I found it last time I lost it!)

My other motivation is to find my camera bag, with my extra battery pack.  It too has disappeared.  My current battery is on the charger, and I can't take any photos until either it's charged, or I find the  bag!  Sheesh!  I put my camera in my purse without the bag last weekend (less bulk) and I don't remember where I put the darn bag!! It should be in the car, but it isn't as I already searched it for the remote and didn't come across the bag.  Sigh.

The problem I'm finding as I age (not so gracefully) is that I will do something so random, (not to mention illogical) and not remember what I did, or where I was when I did it.  I don't fret (yet) that I am fully involved in dementia, as I still know my name, the year and who is president (the test they gave my mom when her alzheimer's was discovered).  I think I am just enmeshed in a case of sensory and data overload.  There is simply too much stuff in my brain rolodex and it takes forever to run through it! (And, I forget what I'm looking for enroute!)

(I really am still on the topic of incentive, in case you're wondering, dear readers!)

The sun is shining right now, and it takes every ounce of my being to force myself to stay inside and find my lost objects.  The house needs a good cleaning as well, since I didn't do a lick last weekend when Kailyn was home.  There is laundry to finish, dishes to put away, and dratted dog hair to vacuum.  

I'm not certain how long my incentive to move will last, but it's time to take advantage of the flickering of "want to" and publish for now.

BTW ~ my upper GI came out well, no news about the biopsies, which is a good sign.  My doctor said things looked good, and that next time I get the two for one special, and upper GI and a colonoscopy!  Wow!  I can hardly wait for that day to come!

We brought two bouquets of tulips home with us last Saturday . . . they don't look like this anymore, but my lilacs are still lovely, and there is more to be had.

Good Day Sunshine

That old Beatle's song is fluttering around in my head today.  The sun is shining and it's the perfect sort of Sunday, sunny, no particular agenda, lazy and relaxed.

I did go in to work earlier today, to finalize my sub plans.  I am having my every three year upper GI tomorrow morning and taking the day off.  (I have GERD and pre-cancerous cells in my esophagus, so it's something I have been doing for the last 12 years or so.) I got home barely in time to leave for church, and was sort of frazzled enroute, but once I was there I was glad I made the effort.  I love being in church, singing, listening to the pastor, and reflecting on my week ahead.  Ironically, there are many Sunday mornings that I am intent on making up any excuse possible, not to drag myself out the door.  Yet, I've never been disappointed.  Never have I arrived, sat through the hour, and said, "Boy I wish I'd stayed home instead!"  It just doesn't happen.

Anyway, on the drive home I told my husband I was going to head down to the Saturday Market.  I asked if he wanted to come along, and he didn't, so I was going alone.  I had a mission.  I wanted to replace a dead lilac tree that I had planted a couple years ago.  I was hoping I'd find one for a reasonable price.

I loved the drive, with the sun beating through the windshield, and my driver's window down for fresh air.  I found a perfect parking place fairly close (expecting the pot with the lilac to be heavy) and after maneuvering back and forth for what seemed like 10 minutes (I'm the world's worse parallel parker!) I was excited to see a gal carrying a lilac heading my direction! Hurrah!

The market was crowded in a nice way, with every sort of person imaginable, and lots of dogs to keep things interesting.  The playground was full of kids laughing and shouting, swings squeaking and parent voices. I saw numerous booths with fresh flowers. I didn't need any, as I have quite a bit blooming at home, but nice to keep in mind for later.

My neighbor took this photo of my daffodils out front and sent it to me!

Lots of folks were buying veggies, fresh and plants, but husband had already warned me not to buy plants, as it's too early for most veggies to be in the ground.

I found a pink lilac, and considered purchasing it, until I remembered the lilac gardens in Woodland, just a twenty minute hop north on the freeway. I walked the length of the market, just for good measure, bought homemade dark chocolates filled with coconut for David (and a small bag of kettle corn for me!) and headed out toward the freeway.

Arriving at Hulda Klager's Lilac farm I was disappointed to find an empty parking lot, and a sign telling me that I was one week too early!  They don't open until next Saturday.  Rats! I kept driving out to the tulip fields but it was so crowded that I couldn't find a parking space so I didn't linger.  Instead I checked out a couple of antique shops on the other side of the freeway that I'm always passing by as my family never wants to stop!  I didn't find much, just this cute little plant stand for on the deck, but it was fun to take my time and browse.

This will be sweet with a planter I've ordered from a former student, soon to arrive!

Last night I read this book about Mont Saint-Michel that Kailyn had given me for Christmas.  I found it fascinating and fell asleep dreaming about visiting this delightful old abbey in June.  My dreams turned into nightmares however, when I was unable to climb the stairs, and in pain going down the stairs!  Now I have my carrot to dangle in front of my nose and get me out of the house!   I reminded my husband that he had promised he would walk with me daily so we would be in better shape for our vacation.  So, after my afternoon of driving and antiquing, we took Nikki and walked around the neighborhood.

Nikki is bored with picture taking and ignoring me.  She wants to walk!

I spent most of yesterday on the computer, trying to figure out the rail travel between some of the cities and places we hope to visit.  I think I've determined that we will be wise to purchase Britrail passes for everyone while we are in England.  It appears to be the way to go when we are traveling from Manchester to Chester, and also to Liverpool.  I think we can use it when we get to London to travel to Cambridge, a dream for Jessica and I. If anyone out there knows that buying the rail pass is a bad idea, please let me know asap!!

I also researched the possibility of visiting the Isle of Jersey, and after figuring out the ferry schedule, and the limited time we have in that part of France, I resigned myself to putting that wish off for another time.  I checked out airfare from Portland to the Isle of Jersey and it isn't cheap, but . . . who knows what the future will bring??

It's been a good day, full of sunshine, laughter, and travels, both real and virtual.  I'm getting more excited about our plans, but also more nervous.  This trip is a BIG DEAL to me, and I am realizing that I can attempt to plan all I want, but the bottom line is I don't really know what to expect. I just need to trust that whatever happens will be what is supposed to happen, and it will be worth it!

Driving a Bargain with Deb

It had been planned for weeks, a mid spring break day to get away from it all with my good friend, Deb.  We met at my house at 8:00, played with her ipad a few minutes, then headed toward McMinnville, Oregon, which used to be a great place for antiquing.  Along the way we got caught up as only face time truly allows, laughing and trading classroom stories of kids and drama and typical 5th grade teacher talk.

Traffic was light and we arrived at our first destination, called "Real Deals" where I found these birds about a month ago for Deb.

Aren't they just too cute??  I put them on the trunk, 

so I wouldn't forget to give them to Deb. 

They looked good with a jar of daffodils from my yard. 

I knew she was going to love this place!  They weren't open yet, so we found a coffee shop, then hurried back to get started on our shopping adventure.  But, wait, it was after 10:00 and there wasn't a single car in the parking lot!  As we drove close enough to read the sign we discovered it was only open on Thursday and Saturday.  Disappointed, and a little miffed, we meandered to the next place on our list, following the pulsing blue ball that represented my car on her ipad.  It was closed!  What????  Reading the sign, we discovered it would open at 11:00 and were just about to walk away when an older gentleman (older than us!) opened the door and let us in early. The shop wasn't much bigger than my living room (and my living room isn't very big!) but it was well stocked with great stuff.  Deb found a darling little shelf for a good deal and we happily wandered the room.  The owners were a friendly father and son team, easy to chat with.

Our next stop was supposedly an antique "mall" but it was mostly vintage thrift shop fare and we browsed quickly, laughing at our whispered comments on the quality and content. As I recall, we never did find the last shop that was supposed to be in that town, so we headed for Lafayette, where Rick's, one of our favorite antique furniture shops, is located.

On the way we passed a huge "barn sale" sign, and I followed the parking arrows to a well kept gravel area.  The sign said "Open", but after sloshing through a wide and wet lawn, we couldn't get the door to budge.  Just as we were heading back to the car we saw a rather scary looking guy, with a much scarier looking doberman pincher.  The guy could barely hold the dog, who was straining to get much closer to us than we cared for.  We looked at each other, and quickly jumped in the car.  I rolled the window down and the guy said something about being open, someone was in the house . . . whatever!  We weren't hanging around to let that dog take a bite out of our hide so I just called out, "Thank you!" and drove out of there! We laughed and decided that was too close for comfort.

We pulled into the parking lot at Rick's and it looked deserted!  About now we're thinking that maybe my husband has put a hex on us and we aren't going to find any good deals (Deb had found the shelf, but I was sadly bereft of treasures!) Fortunately, Lafayette School House Mall shared the same parking lot and it was open.  Sadly, the prices are still outrageous, (as they've always been . . . we were hoping for some recession deals) and even though it's huge, neither of us found a trinket we couldn't live without.  By then our stomachs were growling and it was time to look for nourishment!

As we had scoped out a couple of possibilites when we drove through Newberg earlier that day, we knew there were still delights to be found.  We pulled over to check out what the ipad could offer in the way of restaurants.  The first one sounded and looked great, but didn't open until 5 . . . not much help!  Then Deb found a coffee shop/cafe and we were off.  Having to drive around the block a couple times for a parking spot was a good sign, and soon we were attempting to narrow down our choice from an enticing board full of yummy sounding food.  The place was crowded, with one table left, just for us!  We had a satisfying lunch and chatted about more serious concerns, losing ourselves in that comfortable friendship space, where sad stories are spoken, eyes glisten with unshed tears,  and we're conscious of our shared history.  It would have been easy to spend the rest of the day in that mode, but we were out of tea and had places to go, so we did.

I had always found treasures at one place in Newberg, so that's where we headed.  I wasn't disappointed!

               

I found a darling little vintage table cloth, 

a treadle sewing machine drawer for putting stuff in, 

and some cute little kid cookie cutters. 

I have a slight obsession with toys from the 50's.  Over the years I've collected several toy kitchen items (most of them found with Deb).  I can get a little carried away with vintage toys.  These little gems would fit right in on my "waiting for grandchildren" toy shelves.

There's more . . . lots more!

We stumbled upon a cute little shop with a mix of vintage and new stuff and both found several items we liked, but only bought a couple.  I picked up a fun spelling book from the 40's that had rather dated stories in it. We got such a kick out of reading, I decided to buy it.  Deb discovered a fun dish towel for a mutual friend, though we had a good laugh over my thinking she meant someone else. (At one time there were two people at our school with the same first name.)

That silly girl.  As she handed this to me before we hugged good-bye, 

she said, "So you don't forget".

I had a great day with Deb, as always.  We laughed a lot, and talked seriously about our lives and how hard it is to accept that since we've crossed that threshold into the 60's, we're having to rethink a few things.  We talked little about the past, a lot about the present, and our wishes for the future.  We're travelers and we travel well together.  It is fun to entertain the possibility of traveling without our dear (but sometimes grumpy) husbands once we're truly retired. Our next antiquing trip will likely not take place until we're both back in the states after vacation, but we know it will need to be an overnighter!

While I've written before about how much I treasure our friendship, I can't help but repeat myself.  I think of all those years I took Deb for granted; it's easy to do when only a wall separated us 182 days a year. When suddenly she was gone, moved on when an opportunity availed itself, I mourned the loss of our daily chats, comforting hugs,  and laughter.  I mourned the loss of my soul sister, comrade in arms, sharer of secrets.

The years pass, but the friendship doesn't fade. Our parallel lives, interwoven with mutual grief, seasoned with shared struggles, and mingled tears, are braided together with strong bonds that will last for eternity.  I rest in the assurance that Deb is my forever friend, and I am hers.

Repeat photo! We forgot to take a new one this time!